I’d Rather that People who Don’t Like Me Lose Me than I Lose Myself Trying to Please Them

(On Remaining True to Oneself and Firm with One’s Conviction)

Maraming tao na kahit pa magkakamag-anak o magkakaibigan e nasisira ang koneksyon sa isa’t isa dahil sa pagkakaiba ng kani-kanilang paniniwala—lalo na kung ito ay sa larangan ng pulitika at relihiyon. Wala naman kasi dapat na maging problema sa kanilang samahan. Naturál lang na magkaiba-iba ang prinsipyo at paniniwala ng bawat tao, ngunit maaari namang magkaintindihan, magkabigayan, at magkarespetuhan kahit pa magkaiba ang kanilang pananaw sa iba-ibang bagay. Hindi naman kasi dapat na sumang-ayon o gumaya o sumunod sa kagustuhan ng iba. Kanya-kanyang perspektibo lang dapat. Ang mahalaga ay walang pananakit o iligál na resulta ng mga opinyon ay desisyon na yan.

In my years of being a netizen of Facebook, I have unfriended and blocked only about five or six individuals—and that was only because of either a personal reason or because the said persons were willfully obnoxious and grossly verbally abusive to me.

But, in the matter of political or even religious differences, I have not severed my ties with people whom I consider worthy of getting connected with. I don’t kick them out of life just because I don’t agree with some of their beliefs or sentiments.

We can agree to disagree, so to speak. However, there are just some people who could not stand people whose views are different from theirs, causing them to stress themselves out thus deciding to get rid of such opposites.

For instance, there had been a few relatives and close friends who have decided to unfriend or unfollow me because they could not take my radical and challenging insights.

Well, that’s life. We lose some; we gain some. We could not win them all.

Yes, in life, we can lose even some of the people closest to us just because we embrace different perspectives in life. Don’t be like those people. Learn to stand by your own beliefs and principles without the need to hate those who differ. After all, there will surely be still so many common things that you can agree on with other people.

If the problem is something about your belief systems and those people’s inability to accept you for what and who you are, then yes I think that you should rather that these people lose you than find yourself kneeling down before them and heed what they want you to do even if it contradicts your own principles.

You will be better off if those people lose you in their lives than your losing yourself and your sense of conviction in trying to appease them.

Sa Madaling Salita

Mas mahalaga pa rin ang ating sariling paninindigan. Kung hindi tayo matanggap ng mga taong itinuturing nating mahalaga sa buhay, e hayaan na lang natin sila—dahil kung kaya nila tayong talikuran, e ibig lang sabihin nito e hindi tayo importante sa kanila. Nagsasayang lang tayo ng pagod na amuin sila. Hindi bale nang mawala tayo sa kanilang buhay kaysa naman mawala natin ang ating sariling pagkatao.