About a month ago, I received an e-mail invitation from Jean Guiang, a former Executive Director of Philippine Canadian Centre of Manitoba, to attend the August 21 forum on the Innovative Cultural Approaches in the Prevention of Elder Abuse (ICAPEA) organized by the Knights of Rizal (KoR) and the Manitoba Association of Filipino Teachers Inc. (MAFTI). I accepted immediately, giving a 90% chance that I can drive to Winnipeg from Regina, six to seven hours on the road.
A few days later, I was wondering whether I was invited because I am an elderly Filipino Canadian (78 years old) who might be a victim of elder abuse or that I might be able to add some insights into the topic. After all, I have lived for over four decades in Canada and the first essay in my book Like the Mimosa is titled “Elder Care, Elder Neglect,” which was my column here in September, 1993.
I concluded that essay with some pointed questions, namely, 1) When we get Lola or Lolo to babysit or keep house, do we pay her or him at least what we pay others?; 2) Do we involve our parents in our joys, our problems, and our discussions in general? (They may not be up to scratch on the fast-paced Canadian way of life but their advice on family and human affairs may be useful); 3) On holidays, do we take them with us and are we also concerned with their needs?; 4) Do we take them for regular checkups?; in short, 5) Do we care for them as they cared for us when we were young?
Elders are at risk of abuse for many reasons. There is the deterioration of their hearing and eyesight; there is the slowing down of their movements due to pains, aches, and illnesses; and there is their social isolation and even impending dementia. When a person does not get what you said the first time, it is so easy and natural for you to raise your voice which is just a step into screaming and scolding: Ang tigas ng ulo n’yo, Nanay; sinabe ko na nga!
Any act that undermines a person’s self-worth or dignity is a form of abuse, not physical but certainly emotional or psychological. This manifests itself in bullying, threats of violence, name-calling, infringement of privacy, intimidation, and even treatment as a child or low-class citizen by exclusion or isolation. With treatment of this nature, the elder clams up and tends to withdraw from family and friends, suffers bouts of distress and hopelessness, and may even entertain thoughts of self-destruction.
Another form of elder abuse is economic or financial abuse, which may be just as damaging. Sometimes an elder may depend on a relative or a friend or a caregiver to help with his or her day-to-day business, such as paying rent, buying groceries and home needs, or managing bank accounts and so forth. In these situations, it is so tempting and convenient for the “helper” to gain financially at the expense of the elder with or without the elder’s consent.
This is especially likely when Nanay or Tatay lives alone in an apartment or a care home. Besides the immediate close by abuser, the elder is also vulnerable and susceptible to frauds and scams. If you have a parent in this situation, be sure to check her finances regularly – for unusual withdrawal of funds, for shortage in payments or bouncing of checks, and for consistency in her receipt of pensions and old-age supplements.
There are two other concerns that do not fall under abuse but under elder care—one has to do with spirituality and the other with mental and physical health.
Many Filipinos are religious—whether Catholic, Protestant, or whatever. It is important for them to renew their faiths regularly whether in weekly or daily masses or in religious services. Research has shown that people who practice their beliefs, who pray to God or a Higher Being tend to have lower blood pressure, lower levels of anxiety, and fewer strokes. This is due to an inner peace and a sense of being good. (Since 1988, I’ve been transporting Filipino seniors in Regina to masses and novenas, and I have seen how mentally alert they are.)
Finally, let me throw in my two bits’ worth regarding health. Good healthful food such as a balanced diet with vegetables and high fiber stuff is important.
Cut down on caffeine and definitely on nicotine. Visits to doctors are necessary. A little exercise such as walking for half an hour daily to raise your heart beat is good. For mental health, do crossword or Sudoku or learn a new language. For sure, socialize with other Filipinos or other churchgoers.
There you have my take on elder abuse and elder care. Ingat!
