At 3:30 AM yesterday, Jinkee roused her husband Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao from sleep, “Mahal, you got a call here.” “What! Who’s calling me at this hour?” Pacman asked his wife. “From Paris, with love, daw! Hoy, who is this woman calling from Paris?” Pacman replied, “I don’t know, mahal. I don’t know of any woman in Paris. Wrong number siguro yan.” “Wrong number, ha? Eto, take this call and I’ll listen on the other line,” said Jinkee. The conversation went this way:
Paris: Hey, Manny, honey, this is Paris!
Pacman: Paris? I don’t know anybody in Paris! Who is this?
Paris: No, I’m not calling from Paris. I’m calling from Manila. This is Paris!
Pacman: You’re calling from Paris to Manila?
Paris: No, this is Paris! Let me say it another way, this is Paris Hilton.
Pacman: Paris Hilton? Hey, I know that hotel! I stayed there before. But London Hilton is better. However, my favorite is Dubai Hilton. I like the view from the top.
Paris: Listen, Manny, honey. You must still be half asleep. Wake up! I need to talk you, hon.
Pacman: Huh? Where am I? Who is this? I must be dreaming?
Paris: No, hon, you’re talking to me. This is your friend, Paris Hilton. Remember me from your last fight in Las Vegas?
Pacman: Hoy! Is dat you, Paris? The blonde chick with a Coca-Cola body? He he he…
Paris: Yeah! There you go, you do remember me, Manny! Remember the things we did together in Las Vegas, hon?
Pacman: How can I forget? But I can’t talk about it.
Pacman: Cuz what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?
Paris: That’s funny! Okay, no more jokes. Let’s talk serious business….
Jinkee: Hoy, hoy, hoy! Not too fast, Paris!
Paris: Hey, Jinkee, my best friend! I didn’t know you’re listening, hon?
Jinkee: I’m always listening. Pa-“hon” “hon” ka pa dyan! You think I’m dumb and don’t know what’s going on between Manny and you? I want to know what happened in Vegas! And you, Pac-hon, you’d better tell me now or you’ll be in doghouse for a long time.
Pacman: Which doghouse, the Forbes mansion or the Los Angeles mansion. He he he…
Jinkee: Aba, so you want to stay at the Los Angeles mansion and be with your blonde honey? Hoy, when I say doghouse, it’s a real doghouse… in our backyard!
Paris: Manny, didn’t you explain to Jinkee about our new business?
Jinkee: What new business are you talking about? Or is it monkey business?
Pacman: I thought we agreed that what happens in Vegas stays…
Paris: I’m sorry, hon, but you have to tell Jinkee what happened in Las Vegas.
Jinkee: Pa-“hon” “hon” ka pa dyan! Hoy, Pac-hon, if you don’t tell me what happened in Vegas, I’ll cut your balls!
Paris: Jinkee, please calm down. You don’t have to be jealous of me. Manny and I aren’t having an affair. But I love you both as friends.
Jinkee: Hoy, blondie, you can’t fool me! I know you had your eyes on Manny in Las Vegas.
Pacman: Mahal, Paris and I are just plutonic friends.
Jinkee: Plutonic? What’s that?
Paris: What Manny meant was “platonic” — that is, no hanky panky.
Jinkee: I saw you kissing Manny on both cheeks!
Paris: But I kissed you, too!
Pacman: Mahal, that was just beso-beso!
Jinkee: Beso-beso, ha? How come you’re gawking at her… you know what I mean?
Paris: Oh, that’s nothing, Jinkee. Nothing’s wrong with men looking at my… how’d you say it, Manny… Coca-Cola body? Hi hi hi….
Jinkee: Coca-Cola body daw. Pwe! That’s all silicone. Vicky Belo can do a better job than that!
Paris: If Vicky did your body, then she didn’t do a good job.
Jinkee: What do you mean?
Paris: Well, look at what you ended up with — a Pepsi-Cola body! Hi hi hi…
Jinkee: Walang hiya! Patyon kita dira!
Pacman: Ay naku, maloloko ako!
Paris: You guys are nuts! I’m out of here!