By Kim Bedona Padua
Have you observed your child loose control of their emotions and unplanned breakdowns? Then we react in counterproductive ways not realizing the anxiety can look like defiance. The brain is triggered by “flight or fight” response when our children our stressed. This makes it hard for them to comprehend conversation resulting is disruptive behaviour. We are going to discuss rapid resets that help calm and get their brains back “online.”
Children have a natural reset button in the parasympathetic nervous system called the vagus nerve. Stimulating this ends a message to the brain that it can relax and the body clams down. Activating this will get the child back into a teachable mindset. At that time, we can engage them in logical, age-appropriate discussion of the situation and plan for next time.
So how do we get children back to a place of reasoning? Try using these effective methods to hack the parasympathetic nervous system.
1) Deep breathing – this calms the body. Dr. Lucy Norclliffe-Kaufmann, an associate professor of neurology at NYU, suggest long, deep breaths burst making the exhale longer than the inhale. When we exhale, the vagal activity is at it’s highest and the heart rate is lowest. This creates a quicker calming effect. For younger children, this can be more easily done by blowing bubbles or a pinwheel or whistling.
2) Humming/singing – the vagus nerve runs along both side of the voice box, engaging children to hum/sing when they are in an emotional flood will calm them. This is used much like the way yoga incorporates “ooms” during a session. It brings calmness by activating the vocal cords, in which the vibration sparks the vagus nerve.
3) Physical Movement – any movement will essentially take the mind away from the intense feeling and increase endorphins. A specific movement can expedite calmness. Cat-cow pose works through the digestive system and spine where the vagus nerve resides. Activities that involve crossing the mid-line activate both sides of the brain to work together, so thinking becomes more balanced.
Teaching our children how to reset in stressful times will encourage more self regulated behaviour and promote greater emotional resilience. This will counteract the dangerous effects of stress and arming them with tools for happiness and improved overall health. Follow my parenting blog at http://bit.ly/parentblogtkd
