Babies come into the world with little or no knowledge about it. Yes, they do have those basic instincts that lie in our genes, but little else. To be a good parent, it’s super important to remember that most of what they learn as toddlers… they learn from us!
That is why it’s so important to practice kind and firm positive parenting.
We must always (always!) take into account our children’s emotions. And we must respond to them with kindness, even when the emotion is negative. This will teach them that we are there for them if needed, and the bond will be strengthened.
It can be a challenge to stay calm when a child is throwing a tantrum… but we have to make it through. The best way to deal with these situations is to be kind, while also teaching the child that there are better ways to express emotions.
“Honey, I know you’re very upset. What made you angry? Tell me without yelling.”
One of the rules of Parenting 101 is to never invalidate our children’s emotions. This way they will learn that what they feel is legitimate and they can come to us when they feel bad (or good, to share their happiness!).
What about firm education?
Discipline is often seen as a bad thing, but nothing could be further from the truth. We can’t base our children’s education solely on punishment and discipline – that’s a terrible mistake!
The reality is that many studies show that a democratic educational style allows our children to develop more positively and healthily.
And how do we achieve this? Quite simply.
We are the parents. We make the rules. But we can be wrong. Recognizing our mistakes is the first step towards becoming the best parents we can be. Sometimes our children may totally disagree with the rules we want to set. And it’s good for the family bond to hear what they have to say about it.
Okay, if you set a curfew for your 13-year-old son at 10 p.m. and he wants to be back at 12 p.m., you might be able to come to an agreement. “At half-past ten, you have to be home.” Or not. The important thing is not so much to resolve the conflict as to hear his side of the story. Sometimes we forget that we were children ourselves… and some of our parents’ rules or habits irritated us.
All rules and limits that are established should be based on mutual respect, active listening, and affection.
This guarantees a higher probability of happiness and positive development for our children, which in the end is what we are looking for.
