(Especially in These Trying Times)
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”—Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches
Have you ever been in a conversation with a person so negative in his thoughts that make you want to literally look the other way and wish you had not met him at all?
I had.
I have probably been in such a situation multiple times and have met hundreds of those who think that way in this lifetime.
Optimism or Pessimism?
A known test for being able to tell whether a person is optimistic (positive) or pessimistic (negative) is to ask this simple question: Is your glass half-full or half-empty? The answer would give it away.
It may be easy for one person to say to the other, “Think positive” or “Choose to think positive,” but what he doesn’t know is why the other person’s initial thought or reaction is that way. Did he recently lose a loved one, or a pet? Maybe he did not make it to the qualifying exams. Was he jilted by a would-be lover? Is he being evicted from his home? Maybe he lives in a stressful environment. There are many reasons or causes for negative thinking, towards which in our waking hours we might find ourselves gravitating.
It’s not the person’s fault that his mind is wired towards negative thoughts. While we can attribute negative thinking to genetics, most of it relates to upbringing and environment. If it is something that a person has learned, then it may be also something that he can eventually unlearn through effective self-examination and stress management.
Negative thoughts promote a negative outlook in life, while having positive thoughts promote happiness and a positivity.
Honestly, I sometimes find myself sinking in the same quagmire and yes, it is indeed a struggle to revert to positivity.
Practice Makes Perfect
When you find yourself giving in to negative thoughts, think again (pun intended). Examine yourself. Run thoughts through your head – rationalize your own thoughts. Clear out all the misconceptions and misinformation that you may be having. If you feel that you have been responding negatively for as far as you can no longer remember, it is time to kick the habit and focus on thinking positively. Unlearning may be a long and painful process for some, but it will definitely be a fruitful experience.
Here are pointers that may help you turn things around.
1. Realize that there are areas in your life that needs change. Search for matters that you are usually negative about. It may be work, traffic, or relationship. Think of a positive approach towards it.
2. Monitor yourself. Make it a habit to check on yourself within the course of the day if you have been more positive than negative. Find ways to turn negative thoughts into positive.
3. Allow yourself to laugh. Seek humor in your daily life and even during difficult times. Smiling and laughing relieves a person of stress.
4. Promote a healthy lifestyle. Include a good diet and exercise in your daily routine. A good, healthy diet can fuel the mind and body, while exercise can change the mood and relieve stress.
5. Surround yourself with positive-minded individuals. Positive support and encouragement as well as feedback is what you might be needing. Negative people will encourage doubt and stress to an already chaotic situation, and they will not help in kicking the negativity habit.
6. Rationalize your thoughts. Always make the habit of checking your own thoughts. Improve on the negative thoughts that you usually had. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else.
Along with the psychological, your physical well-being will greatly benefit from the habit of thinking positively. Lesser stress, lower blood pressure, and increased skills for coping stress and hardships or difficulties in life are only a few manifestations of a holistic health. Don’t expect change to come overnight. All it takes is practice.
After all, positive thinking is only reversing your negative approach to something productive, useful, and pleasant. With this, you will be able to deal with difficult situations in a more constructive way. It may not be easy, but it is doable. A well-known cliché on this would be, “Looking at the bright side.” However, whenever you do, make sure that you are within reason and that your choices are realistic.
*Currently working at the Philippine International Convention Center, where she began service 21 years ago, *Kathryn Valladolid Ebrahim was an alumna of St. Scholastica’s College–Manila and finished a degree in Bachelor of Arts, Major in Sociology, at the University of Santó Tomás.
